[johnforbes]

Per the reliable Babylon Bee:

"WASHINGTON, D.C. — Left without other practical options in a city overwhelmed by violent crime, President Donald Trump reportedly decided to dispense vigilante justice by dressing up like a giant bat and patrolling the streets of D.C.

Following increased incidents of assaults and other crimes perpetrated in the nation's capital, reports began to surface of sightings of a "Bat-Trump" terrorizing criminals and stopping them in their tracks.

"I'm not the hero D.C. deserves, but the one it needs right now," Trump told reporters when asked about his moonlighting as a vigilante crimefighter. "I was watching what these thugs have been doing to this beautiful city, and I thought, ‘Why not take care of this problem myself?' I've got billions of dollars to spend on gadgets and vehicles, I've got a high-tech underground headquarters here at the White House… and, let's face it, I'm a strong guy. Very strong. So I've been spending my nights swinging around and beating up criminals. You should see the looks on their faces. They're scared, believe me."

According to one criminal apprehended by Bat-Trump, the ordeal was terrifying. "It was the scariest thing I've ever seen," the suspect allegedly told police. "He dangled me off a rooftop, and I told him, ‘I'll stop committing crimes, I swear to God!' and he screamed in my face, ‘SWEAR TO ME!' You should've seen the size of his hands. Please keep me in jail. I can't go back out there with that monster."

[sillydaddy]

So how is the Left going to fight Trump on this one..
without looking like they are siding with the criminals?

[elklindo69]

So is this why Trump sent in the National Guard to DC? Shouldn't the Navy be handling sub attacks?

Even the judge said it was baloney. Now the right wing loons are overcharging for food!

[sillydaddy]

"...ABC News anchor Kyra Phillips on Monday recounted a harrowing encounter she had with a “half-dressed” homeless man who mugged her in downtown Washington, DC, as she noted that many in the nation’s capital are experiencing crime “firsthand” despite what official statistics show....."
THis news report was made Aug. 11, 2025

[elklindo69]

So if you assault a cop with flag poles, bear spray, bat, bars, weapons, beating and stomping them... you get a pardon but if you toss a Subway sandwich at a cop wearing a bulletproof vest....that’s a felony?

Now this is what I call a cold cut case!!!

[johnforbes]

Las t time Mr Forbes had a Subway sandwich, it was extremely thick and in essence constituted an assault weapon more deadly than a baseball bat.

Of course, that was before blue-haired lesbian Rapinhoe endorsed Subway, and Mr Forbes was constrained to stop patronizing that establishment.

As for the full story of that riot, apparently Ray Epps had multiple phone calls to Speaker Pelosi's office in the few weeks before that riot, so what were those calls about?

[Clownkicker]

"As for the full story of that riot, apparently Ray Epps had multiple phone calls to Speaker Pelosi's office in the few weeks before that riot, so what were those calls about?"-johnfibs

johnforbes falls for the next childish lie from Republicans about Epps phoning Pelosi before Jan. 6th.

There is nothing so stupid that johnforbes won't simply glom onto it if his partisan handlers tell him it's true. Gawd forbid johnforbes ever questions his handlers.

Of course, there were no phone calls from Epps to Pelosi before the riots. And the proof is that the clowns who told you this lie cited an FOIA request as the source for their information. But such records would not be obtainable through FOIA requests, because Congress is exempt from the law. They would not have complied with the request even if it were made, which it wasn't. It's just more made up stupid shit from MAGGOT-world conspiracy nutjobs.(Of which johnforbes is a card-carrying member. Make America Stupid Again!)

johnny, stop being such a tool.
(But it should be noted that even on the subject of sandwiches and crime in D.C., johnforbes still couldn't post without bringing up his obsession with gay sex once again by pointlessly fixating on Rapinoe who has nothing to do with this story. Sadly, it is all too easy to believe that johnforbes actually does choose which businesses he patronizes based solely on who endorses them. He gets orders from his handlers and he mindlessly complies.)

[elklindo69]

The judge determined that assault with breadly weapon is not a felony. The real crime is how much that Subway sandwich cost.

Apparently the cops were expecting donuts but got a submarine sandwich....