- Thu Nov 07, 2013 8:48 am
#32058
Had to share this:
The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The
Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new
boat by April, 2014.
These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000
each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and
registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or
repair costs.
This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy
and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats.
This new law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat.
If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive four 'free' life jackets (does
not include monthly usage fees).
In order to make sure everyone purchases an 'affordable boat,' the
cost of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year.
This way,wealthy people will pay more for something that other
people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But, to be fair, people
who can't afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and
children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boat(s) to party on until they turn 27, after which date they must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't).
If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow.
If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment.
If you cannot (or don't want to) purchase an 'affordable boat' from a private business, you can buy
a starter boat from the U. S. government 'affordable boat exchange.' Such
a boat will have the basic necessities (hull, oars or paddles) and will
only
cost 'slightly more' than a similar boat purchased from a private business.
Plus, since your tax dollars will subsidize the purchase of a boat
from the U. S. government's 'affordable boat exchange,' it will appear
that you are getting a good deal.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in
the desert, ghettos, inner cities, or areas with no access to lakes are
notexempt.
Pre-existing conditions such as age, motio sickness,
experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between
the port side, starboard side, or stern of a boat) will decide
everything, including when, where, how often, and for what purposes
you can use your boat, along with how many people can ride your boat.
The board will also determine if one is too old or healthy enough to
be able to use their boat, and will also decide if your boat has out
lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.
Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so ... it's only fair.
The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to
comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a
boat, they and their families can obtain boats free at the expense of
tax payers.
This includes lifetime maintenance and automatic adjustments for fuel
charges.
Unions, bankers, and mega companies with large political affiliations are also exempt (If
they support the Obama Administration's agenda with $$$$)
The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The
Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new
boat by April, 2014.
These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000
each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and
registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or
repair costs.
This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy
and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats.
This new law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat.
If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive four 'free' life jackets (does
not include monthly usage fees).
In order to make sure everyone purchases an 'affordable boat,' the
cost of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year.
This way,wealthy people will pay more for something that other
people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But, to be fair, people
who can't afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and
children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boat(s) to party on until they turn 27, after which date they must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't).
If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow.
If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment.
If you cannot (or don't want to) purchase an 'affordable boat' from a private business, you can buy
a starter boat from the U. S. government 'affordable boat exchange.' Such
a boat will have the basic necessities (hull, oars or paddles) and will
only
cost 'slightly more' than a similar boat purchased from a private business.
Plus, since your tax dollars will subsidize the purchase of a boat
from the U. S. government's 'affordable boat exchange,' it will appear
that you are getting a good deal.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in
the desert, ghettos, inner cities, or areas with no access to lakes are
notexempt.
Pre-existing conditions such as age, motio sickness,
experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between
the port side, starboard side, or stern of a boat) will decide
everything, including when, where, how often, and for what purposes
you can use your boat, along with how many people can ride your boat.
The board will also determine if one is too old or healthy enough to
be able to use their boat, and will also decide if your boat has out
lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.
Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so ... it's only fair.
The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to
comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a
boat, they and their families can obtain boats free at the expense of
tax payers.
This includes lifetime maintenance and automatic adjustments for fuel
charges.
Unions, bankers, and mega companies with large political affiliations are also exempt (If
they support the Obama Administration's agenda with $$$$)
- By elklindo69
- By brandon
- By uvgotmale970