[Vipermoray]

Hello-

In a month and a half, my girlfriend and I are going on our annual vacation...this year its St Martin, in the Caribbean. We are staying in a condo on Orient Beach....that's the French side. I know there's a clothing optional place on the end of the beach (Club Orient?), but where we are staying is more traditional, although I'm told topless is common on this end as well, just not nude.

Ive posted a post or two about our past experiences here previously. To make a long story short, while I am fairly certain my girlfriend finds it hot at times to show off, she hasn't admitted it to me. I have broached the subject surreptitiously a few times, but she wont admit she enjoys it. I don't want to be a pest and make a big deal of it tho, so, I don't.

We are middle-aged......both early 50's, she looks great. She is 6' tall, 145 lbs, Italian, and tans well. Of course, like many women, she still has self-esteem issues. I would love to see her go topless, if not nude, but don't really know how to suggest it without offending her, or upsetting her. I tell her she looks wonderful all the time (and she does!). She has let me take a couple pics of her in the buff, innocent stuff, really. She gets looks from guys often, whether she notices or not, who knows? She rarely even goes without a bra, as she deems it "trashy".......

Basically I am looking for the more experienced folks here to give me other ideas.....I dunno, maybe she never will! I am not ever going to make a pain out of myself nagging her to do it, but let me tell ya, when guys look at her, I love it....she's all mine!

[DangerousDi]

Wouldn't it just be easier to google it? I have been to St. Thomas and the back side doesn't have much traffic.

[DangerousDi]

Test

[DangerousDi]

Okay I will try this again. First off you expect your wife to go from one thing to another over night, you can forget it. Either she is or isn't at this point will to show off her body in public. Next it is a slow process to change her mind and you want it all right there and then.

I will tell my story and you can see how it goes. I didn't think I should show my body off, I didn't think I had one guys liked as well as a 36/26/36 type of body. Little did I know it was one that was very popular. So my husband wanted me to take pictures for years and I just wouldn't. Well one day he showed me a lady on VW that he thought had a shape like mine. That way I did not think he was a pervert. Now I can't tell you if he did that right away or not. I don't recall exactly when. Anyway he said lets take pictures and I only started all covered up in sexy lingerie. Then I started to show boobs because I saw gals on VW doing it. Then the rest..... Now I am in my 50's and I have learned what poses work, what lingerie looks best on me, etc. It has become a game for me to be creative and surprise him with what I am wearing. Some things I haven't liked like a couple ways I fixed my hair. There are some where only a few pictures would I see how sexy I could be. It was also a process for him with the camera and some times I have to tell him what I want him to do with the camera. It is a process I have to say that has taken years. We have done over 1,000 pictures about 2009 at that time. Now let me tell you, I am the one a little more venturous than he is because of the position he holds in his job. Anyway have been caught on the river and truck drivers driving by beeping their horn. To a guy coming down to see what was going on.

I still am a little inhibited to wear a top you can see through unless I am some where no one would know me. Although I have admit I haven't seen anyone I gone to school with in my home town for years, yet they are around. Okay, so going to private places to do pictures is my idea, and this may be someone drives by or something. To stay there to be seen is not my thing even yet today. I once did it with a button down dress, at a convention and he was nervous.

However I have stood on the balcony in San Diego and done pictures on the balcony and a taxi cab guy was watching. I have done pictures in a hotel on the beach out in the entry way. I have done pictures in Hawaii up on our deck and have no idea if any one say, but the ocean before the sun shines (that one hour it is light) had a see through pants on, used a towel I could open up and play around with on the balcony deck.

I say start out easy, buy her a see through outfit, ask her to wear it around the hotel room. Ask if you can take pictures, of her with the curtains open, on deck, etc. Maybe she will go for it, and do more, maybe just that or maybe none of it.

Remember you have wasted years and expect her to change over night. Good luck, let us know how it turns out. PS Ebay has some of the nicest lingerie, sexy etc and you can get really great deals. Just know the size she wears....for sure.

[Thinker]

The other thing you can do is to just go to a clothing optional beach. Make sure she knows that you do not expect her to take anything off. Ask if she minds if you go nude. Maybe not the first day or first trip, but who knows, she may try tanning with her top off. It would be a start.

[Annie]

You need a friend that has a wife or girlfriend that likes to sex up to go out with you two. Go to a dark club or something like that and maybe that will loosen her up a little. Sometimes when women see other women sexed up and see the attention they're getting they may try it. I've been out with friends and they're wives or girlfriends and when they'd see how relaxed I was with the way I'd dress and the attention and fun I'd be having the next time we'd go out with them she'd be sexed up a little more. Some of the girls would wear see thru and sexy things just as much as me before long. I'm talking about in my 30's and 40's though when this was going on. Now in my late 50's most women my age just give me kill looks that might be something that she's worried about to. It takes a special mentality to be confident in yourself to do what you want and not worry about what other people think.
I'm kind of like Di on the deal that she has her own thinking on things like that so long that it's going to be hard to change her. It'll be a long slow process. You'll have to do it in private at first and get her confidence up and then do it with close likewise friends. Don't get her around some ol'prudes and make her feel guilty about the way she's dressed. Take her to a nice lingerie place and buy her a shelf bra and then get her to ride in your car with her blouse unbuttoned for you. Be sure to not come up beside big trucks or anything so anyone can see her at first till becomes comfortable with it. Then maybe start showing her a little and maybe she'll get the thrill of someone seeing her like most women do. Most women love the thrill of men seeing but not able to get to them. It's just going to take time and may not work at all with her years of conditioning thinking the other way about flashing and nudity.
Good luck and hope she'll come around for you.

[Vipermoray]

thank you all who posted above! Annie, Di, Thinker, etc....your comment are all noted and appreciated. As we all know, as a guy, its hard to understand what's going on in the head of a woman, and vice versa, so, its good to have input from both sides of the fence here.
We do communicate, and she knows whatever she does is ok with me. I also understand, and would never want to, force her to do anything she didn't want to do in her own right, but also feel its important to communicate to her what I like, what turns me on, etc. If I don't, no one else will. I would hope she would do me the same courtesy.
Generally pertaining to communication, many folks will avoid communicating their turn-ons or desires to their mate, as they feel that they will be "judged" by the other party and don't want to put the relationship in jeopardy with the possibly questionable thoughts going on in their heads...and this goes for men as well as women. I feel that honesty is still the best policy here. Let them know what floats your boat! If you care about the other person, you'll try to work with their "interests", and, if they are way over your moral "do not cross this line" point, then its good to point that out, then and there. I've just seen conflicting actions, so wonder really what's going on.
Had a good discussion with friends about St Martin. Now, I am American, raised Catholic, so, from an early age, many of my concepts of "right", and how to live, were set in stone......been working to correct that! Anyhow, someone stated that Orient Beach was "topless".....and I took the side of, no, its not topless, but its a French beach, and the French tend to allow gals to go without their swimsuit tops as a matter of course, rather than the typical American "topless" idea. There is part of the beach which is clothing optional, but that's another matter!

Sorry about being long-winded, and thanks again for everyone's' contributions!

[DangerousDi]

Viper: Again what women think of their bodies unless they have that perfect shape they have always heard of are afraid to start to be a little risky with sex. Religion and people that are so strong believers of older generations think it is prudish to show body parts. Glad you moved out of that mind thought. I too was raised Catholic, but never fell for it and the ritual.

Anyway with that said, glad you talk, really tell her she looks good, and show her a picture of some gal on VW that looks good and gets good comments, it will inspire her some.