[redback]

The advantages of rotary wing over fixed wing aircraft.

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[redback]

You can always trust the police to help out in the community.

[redback]

I know you blokes are getting older and arnt getting as much as you used to so I thought Id send you all this to remind you what one looks like....

[redback]

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there
he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. The man
asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?"
The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep." The man says,
"And the Viagra?" "Keeps him from falling out of bed."

[redback]

Subject: Fw: A Male Fairy Tale !!
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, Will you marry
me?
The Princess said, No!
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and associated
with skinny long-legged big-breasted women and hunted and fished and raced
cars and went to strip bars and dated women half his age and drank whisky,
beer and Captain Morgans and never heard bitching and never paid child
support or alimony and kept his house and golf clubs and ate spam and chips
and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at
work and all his friends and family thought he was cool and he had tons of
money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

[327retro]

RB, Jr., damn-it you guys crack me up! Great stuff. Have to show Sugar these.

Rock, man that looks like it was typed on a type writer. Reminded me of a portable 50's type writer I still have in storage some where. Got to watch those quotation mark chicks.

Computer has been glitching for the past week or so. Pop in when I can.

[Coffjr]

What deep thinkers men are...


I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.

Finally I thought about an age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer.

[rockclimber]

Ditto that!

Jr that was great!

[Coffjr]

*An Ethical Dilemma.*


*The doctor had sex with one of his female patients and felt guilty all
day long.. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just
couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient were
overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring
voice in his head that said:*

*"Don't worry about it.. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have
sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. And you're
single. Just let it go."*


*But, invariably, another voice in his head would bring him back to
reality, whispering:* *"You're a veterinarian, you sick bastard."*

[Coffjr]

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…

So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: " Rome? Why would anyone want to
go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants
are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

[redback]

Have to pass this on as a warning. DO NOT COME TO AUSTRALIA, ITS A VERY DANGEROUS PLACE



IDIOT SIGHTING.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used that repairman since...this happened in Ipswich, Qld
IDIOT SIGHTING.
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council P & W office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Collingwood, Melbourne.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Bankstown, Sydney.....
IDIOT SIGHTING.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
This happened in Elizabeth S.A.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'what on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a government employee in ATO Newcastle NSW AU.
IDIOT SIGHTING.
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote…

[redback]

MORE WISE WORDS OF WISDOM

[redback]

NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL GOLF LESSONS.
MIGHT TAKE IT UP MYSELF

[Coffjr]

A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10.
If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."
Bubba replied, "No it ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."

[Coffjr]

SEX AND GOOD GRAMMAR

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for a consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction.The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man. The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: "1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: How do I stop the medicine from working?""Your partner must say 1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked: "What was the

1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

[redback]

Subject: Only a farm kid would see it like that.

Only a farm kid would see it this way!‏
When you're from the farm, your perception is a little bit different.
A farmer drove to a neighbour’s farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mum home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mum and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the
other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy say's, "I know where all the
tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "No, I really want to talk to your
Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...then say's, "You'll have to talk to my Dad
about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but
I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."

[DangerousDi]

RedBack that was good one. LOL

[redback]

Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.
Guy behind the counter says , 'Male or female?'

Customer says , 'Female.'
Counter guy asks , 'Black or white?

Customer says , 'White.'

Counter guy asks , 'Christian or Muslim?'

Customer says , 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'

Counter guy says , 'The Muslim one blows itself up'

[327retro]

c348d8dc4a29a04b977f7c7042c970cf.jpg (87.4 KiB) Viewed 19201 times

[redback]

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 85 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
spring evening, When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and
sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that
good in years!


Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told
him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?


Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' and ran off ..

And that's when I shot him ..............

the little bastard!

[redback]

A man was walking along a beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up, rubbed it and out popped a genie.
The genie said "You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick.
"Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete! How much steel! You're going to have to think of another wish."
The man agreed, and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to figure out why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing', and know how to make them truly happy."
The genie paused for a while and said, "Do you want 2 or 4 lanes on that bridge?"

[redback]

A British soldier was asked how they identified each other in the field.
"Oh it is simple" he said.
"First you fire a warning shot well over their heads so no one is injured."
"If you receive a quick and precision rifle fire then they are British."
"If you receive a storm of machine gun fire, they are German."
"If they surrender then they are Italian."
"If nothing happens for five minutes and then artillery or an airstrike whips out your position, then they are American."

[redback]

The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor.
'As soon as you hear the siren, run for tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern.'
'At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg.'
'Address it and say, 'I'm a sperm.'
'She will answer, 'I'm an egg."
'From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?'
The sperm nodded affirmatively.
Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren.
He wakes immediately and runs to the tunnel.
A multitude of sperm swim behind him.
He knows he has to arrive first.
When he nears the entrance of the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm.
He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball.
When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, 'Hi, I'm a sperm!'
The red sticky ball smiles and says,
'Hi. I'm a tonsil.'

[redback]

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer. "Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled: "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away: "Hello! We're all down here."

[redback]

Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

[Coffjr]

STRESS DEFINED

You pick up a hitchhiker...a young, sexy, beautiful girl. Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and you take her to the hospital. Now that's very, very stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulate you that you're going to be a father. You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are. This is getting very, very stressful!

You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.

After the tests are completed, The doctor says the test shows you're infertile, and probably have been since birth. You're extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.

[redback]

154801_10151410935669443_1591367529_n.jpg (50.17 KiB) Viewed 19022 times

[redback]

Ahh Love, its a beautiful thing....................... I think. :lol: :lol:


A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship
with your husband.

The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"
All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you
loved him?"
Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their
husband: "I love you, sweetheart."
The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to
read aloud the text message they received.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's up with you??
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
6. What the ___ did you do now?
7. You're kidding, right?
8. Don't beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for,
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.

(my favorite)
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?...

[redback]

Back Door

I was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table, when we heard a key in
the front door.

She said, "It's my husband! quick, try the back door!"

Thinking back, I really should have ran, but you don't get offers like that
every day........

[redback]

HERES ONE FOR THE LADIES.......




WICOE Workshop...very important...a must attend..both days essential:

WICOE
(Women In Charge Of Everything)

Is proud to announce the opening of its
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each
course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this
course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE;
DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place
Instead of turning the house upside down while screaming -
Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS;
DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH;
BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY
AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS;
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES
& CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT;
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available

[honora]

These are just hilarious :lol:

[Thinker]

I guess the advance class covers whether the over-under debate for the toilet roll! Like your new propic Honora! You are so cute.

[rockclimber]

I know you blokes are getting older and arnt getting as much as you used to so I thought Id send you all this to remind you what one looks like....

Good one!

[redback]

Interview with a shark......... :lol:

http://newsthump.com/2015/07/20/shark-s ... an-surfer/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[redback]

How to please a Woman.......


It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a s*xologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
*

[redback]

How to please a Man.....


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring alcohol

[redback]

New Bra

[327retro]

RB your a sick puppy. If any one is felling down just come here to see what you & Jr come up with. Great stuff. Thanks!

[redback]

RB your a sick puppy. If any one is felling down just come here to see what you & Jr come up with. Great stuff. Thanks!

No probs mate. Iv had a good chuckle over some of yours as well.
As for the "sick puppy" bit, you sure that aint the pot callin the kettle black..... :lol:

[327retro]

RB your a sick puppy. If any one is felling down just come here to see what you & Jr come up with. Great stuff. Thanks!

No probs mate. Iv had a good chuckle over some of yours as well.
As for the "sick puppy" bit, you sure that aint the pot callin the kettle black..... :lol:

:lol: Why of course it's the pot calling the kettle black. How do you think the original sick puppy is?

G'Day

[redback]

On their honeymoon,
the blond bride slipped into a sexy nightie and,
with great anticipation, crawled into bed,
only to find her new catholic husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, It's Lent.
In tears, she sobbed, Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!
Who did you lend it to,
and for how long?



Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, 'I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second responds, 'Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.'

The third surgeon says, 'No, I really think Librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon chimes in, 'You know I like Construction Workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.'

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts - the mouth and the arse - and they are interchangeable'.

[rockclimber]

The first one had me laughing out loud!

[redback]

The first one had me laughing out loud!

Yeah me too when i 1st saw it, glad you like it mate...

[rockclimber]

Always good ones! Cheers!

[redback]

The wife told me to go out and get some of those pills that will help me get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm looking for a place to live, can you help me?



yeah, I know grump, Im still a sick puppy...... :lol:

[redback]

one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years.

After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!

Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier.

So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest.

The sex was good but all the dove would say is ......... 'I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!'

Well this so got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate..

He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest.. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is........

'I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!' So out with the loon.

Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was.....







NO, The duck didn't say THAT !


... Don't be SO disgusting!



The duck said....


'I am a DRAKE,
You made a MISTAKE!!

[rockclimber]

one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years.

After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead!

Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier.

So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest.

The sex was good but all the dove would say is ......... 'I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!'

Well this so got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate..

He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest.. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is........

'I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!' So out with the loon.

Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was.....







NO, The duck didn't say THAT !


... Don't be SO disgusting!



The duck said....


'I am a DRAKE,
You made a MISTAKE!!

Rofl!!!

[redback]

Two men are at the opposite side of the world but are thinking the exact same thing.. One is walking a tightrope between two skyscrapers, the other is having a blowjob from an 85 year old woman...What are they both thinking?





Whatever you do Don't look down, just don't look down...

[redback]

Safe sex for seniors.
Not mentioning any names but Im sure this might come in handy for a few of you DV8s. :idea: :lol:

[327retro]

The wife told me to go out and get some of those pills that will help me get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm looking for a place to live, can you help me?



yeah, I know grump, Im still a sick puppy...... :lol:

Could always invite to the Colonies Mate! And find a reasonable flat for you. May have to be at the other end of the county though. Sugar is already dealing with me and two sons. One is on the other end of the county though but you know how mums are.

Later