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Oh Manda, I can shoot. :lol: But watch out, my gun is loaded.

And Honora - you wanted me to "give it to you"? That's what I had in mind to wear you out. Did I say that out loud?

For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two laws - legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana.

The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense, because.........

Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."

We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Honora, did you find that coupon on Group-on? If so, I need to sign up!

mandadees wrote:Thinker, 7, 8, 9, 10 and a double helping of 15 please?

I don't have the disease of virginity any more. Nor do I have to sleep with the enemy anymore! With you, your breast don't have eyes but neither does your smile. Would you mind I looked at your smile while I zeroed in for a kiss?

I will also give you a great Australian kiss for a long time. I want you to be totally satisfied!

Jbe wrote:For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two laws - legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana.

The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense, because.........

Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."

We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

OMG! THAT is too funny! I went to a Gay wedding not long ago, it was a beautiful ceremony.

Thinker, Down under style all the way!

Jr, empty your clip! Then reload! :lol:

Manda - I'm all thumbs so I think I need help with this unloading.

On the subject of weddings...

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, and get married.

The ceremony was rubbish... but the reception was brilliant! :mrgreen:

FastFive wrote:On the subject of weddings...

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love, and get married.

The ceremony was rubbish... but the reception was brilliant! :mrgreen:

Love it!!

Is this how it's done, Grumpy? :lol: :lol: :lol:

John - :lol: :lol: :lol:

Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style... The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

And here I thought this was the way to do it John.

Coffjr wrote:John - :lol: :lol: :lol:

Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style... The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

Jr.- :lol: :lol: :lol: (see answer to John above) :roll:

Grumpy - it was when I was married. :cry:

:lol:

Time to crack a Friday Smile....
:lol: :lol:

When Bad be Good n Mario Rules.....

The pic below has zero to do. With the video, but it's pretty darn hot so enjoy........ One for my favorite sexy females.....

:lol:

One more on weddings.


A woman was getting married for the 4th time and she was wearing white.
When told that it was not good form to wear white for her 4th wedding she claimed it was ok as she was still a virgin.
When asked to explain how she was still a virgin after 3 marriages she said.
"My 1st husband was a gynaecologist and all he did was look at it,
My 2nd husband was a hair dresser and all he did was comb it,
And my 3rd husband was a stamp collector, damn I miss him..."

New Math

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried... Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1960s:

1. Teaching Math In 1960s (when I was in school) a logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math in 1970s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math in 1980s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? Yes or No

4. Teaching Math In 1990s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math in 2000s A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's Okay).

6. Teaching Math In 2014 Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho? ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a front for his pot farm.

Man Jr. what a truism! Sugar & I have our hands full trying to teach scrip & making change with #2 son. Working with recent engineering grads that can't read script. Go figure. Now all I have to do is learn how to spell. :roll:

The Magic of Jack does seem the way to go, Grumps.

Redback... :lol: :lol: :lol:

jr, sad but true... the math teaching... :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

:lol:

:lol: :lol:

:shock:

John....... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Interesting jb, I think I will have to put on my white coat, apply for a government grant and study this strange phenomenon of why there is no resemblance. Lets see, Il need a couple o hundred thousand to spend on scientific stuff like beer, scotch and other chemicals, a few willing subjects to study and maybe an assistant. :ugeek: :ugeek: :evil: :evil:

You ain't right John. :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:

BTW RB, been thinking about a grant like that for a while, which part do you want to take? The pussy/kitty part or the beaver/stamp part of the study. :lol:

Well we aint got no beaver down here in Oz so maybe Il have to increase that grant by a few thou to book a ocean cruise so I can go in search of this allusive beaver. So seein I know absolutely nothing bout beavers you can have the kitty. Cant get more scientific than that. See you at the lab............

Grumpy - You might want to examine the hairless kitty, the Sphynx. But from what I've heard - it's not truly hairless - it has a layer of down. I've never seen one up close and personal - the cat that is....... :lol:

For those who are not politically correct and just want a good laugh and keeping with an animal theme........

Deer hunting

Nugent certainly gets an A+ for correctly answering the question of the animal activist.

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist who is also an animal rights activist.

The discussion came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?'"

Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress."

The interview ended.

Its only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realise there is always a way to solve problems without violence.

What does a woman say after she has had the best sex of her life?



Thanks Redback

One cold winter evening my wife sent me a text, "windows frozen"
I replied "poor warm water over them"
A little while later she text me again "computer is really fucked now"

Have you heard about the new coffee, 'Viagraccino'


One cup and your up all night...

Q... Whats the generic form of Viagra?

A... Mycoxafloppin

Look it's......

Heard this one today....

"When I was six, I told my first grade (gen ed) teacher I was autistic. She seemed surprised and informed me that there was nothing in my file that forewarned her and asked me if I'd had a test. I was perplexed why I would need an actual test to prove I could draw cartoons... ."


:ugeek:

redback wrote:Well we aint got no beaver down here in Oz so maybe Il have to increase that grant by a few thou to book a ocean cruise so I can go in search of this allusive beaver. So seein I know absolutely nothing bout beavers you can have the kitty. Cant get more scientific than that. See you at the lab............

Ok, no beavers down under but you do have the platypus. Didn't realize beavers were indigoes to the Colonies. I'm so accustom to seeing them here I forgot. I have some less than a quarter of a mile right now from where I live. I have no problem with my continual study of either where the female form is concerned.

Coffjr wrote:Grumpy - You might want to examine the hairless kitty, the Sphynx. But from what I've heard - it's not truly hairless - it has a layer of down. I've never seen one up close and personal - the cat that is....... :lol:

For those who are not politically correct and just want a good laugh and keeping with an animal theme........

Deer hunting

Nugent certainly gets an A+ for correctly answering the question of the animal activist.

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist who is also an animal rights activist.

The discussion came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?'"

Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress."

The interview ended.

LOL, hairless Sphinx? Or hairless Minx? I've come across some minxes that had some downy type fur, never feathers as yet. Although it's all in the interpretation I recon.

Jr., I don't know how I missed that interview with Ted. But thank your for that. That is pure GOLD! I'll have to look that one up and pass it on.

retro, you just found another scientific name for the vagina, the 'platypus'. I told you that government grant would be put to good use. We will have to start calling you 'Sheldon'. So shall we crack another XXXX and continue our studies to find other useful purpose for the 'platypus'...

RC, If Superman were not such a prude, he could change anywhere. If only he were a fellow nudist, the world would be safe again!

That would be the "Flash" then!

FULL BODY SCANS AT AIRPORTS:



CATSA disclosed the following Airport Screening Results:

December 2013 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening From CATSA :

Terrorists Discovered 0

Transvestites 133

Hernias 1,485

Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172

Enlarged Prostates 8,249

Breast Implants 59,350

Natural Blondes 3

It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.

Coffjr wrote:FULL BODY SCANS AT AIRPORTS:

CATSA disclosed the following Airport Screening Results:

December 2013 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening From CATSA :

Terrorists Discovered 0
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3

It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.

They have yet to find a politician with a spine.

Frequent Flyers can now use points to pay for cancer treatments.

I guess I've been using it incorrectly all these years.

So that is what I need to screw my nuts off!

327retro wrote:

redback wrote:Well we aint got no beaver down here in Oz so maybe Il have to increase that grant by a few thou to book a ocean cruise so I can go in search of this allusive beaver. So seein I know absolutely nothing bout beavers you can have the kitty. Cant get more scientific than that. See you at the lab............

Ok, no beavers down under but you do have the platypus. Didn't realize beavers were indigoes to the Colonies. I'm so accustom to seeing them here I forgot. I have some less than a quarter of a mile right now from where I live. I have no problem with my continual study of either where the female form is concerned.

Coffjr wrote:Grumpy - You might want to examine the hairless kitty, the Sphynx. But from what I've heard - it's not truly hairless - it has a layer of down. I've never seen one up close and personal - the cat that is....... :lol:

For those who are not politically correct and just want a good laugh and keeping with an animal theme........

Deer hunting

Nugent certainly gets an A+ for correctly answering the question of the animal activist.

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist who is also an animal rights activist.

The discussion came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?'"

Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress."

The interview ended.

LOL, hairless Sphinx? Or hairless Minx? I've come across some minxes that had some downy type fur, never feathers as yet. Although it's all in the interpretation I recon.

Jr., I don't know how I missed that interview with Ted. But thank your for that. That is pure GOLD! I'll have to look that one up and pass it on.

Retro,

You're too funny! :lol:

Some of. Those minxes love that "feather touch" though......

RCNCO wrote:Your Disney trivia for the day:

The hit movie Frozen is based on "The Snow Queen" by Hans Christian Anderson.

In the movie are 4 characters -- Hans, Kristoff, Anna, Sven.

Now,

Say the 4 names out loud, quickly.

:lol: :lol:
Yes, this is on purpose.

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Even comes out with the proper accent when one says it out loud. Whoda thunk. Recon I should have paid more attention to fairy tails instead of the Dutch girl across the street or the German girl down the street. Hay come on now, at least I was concentrating on the right continent where old Hans was from. Doesn't that count? :roll:

Manda you little sweetheart. ♥ ♥ ♥ & :* 's

For our sweet redheads.

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence –


HUSBAND: "Shit."

"Its to hot to wear cloths today" I said as I stepped out of the shower, "What do you think the neighbours will think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
TO which my wife replied "Probably think I married you for your money>>"