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He he :ugeek:

Good one Rock.

I had to show off my lawn mower.

A baby polar bear trots up to mumma polar bear and asks " Am I a real polar bear?"
MUM- "Of course your a real polar bear".
BABY- "Your sure I'm not a cross bred, black bear maybe or a bit of zodiac?"
MUM- "Oh don't be ridiculous, if you have a problem go see your father".
So baby polar bear go's up to daddy polar bear and asks "Am I a real polar bear?"
DAD- "Of course your a real polar bear son".
BABY- "Your sure I'm not a cross bred, I don't have any grissly or koala in me?"
DAD- "Of course not son, your a pure bred polar bear, why do you ask?"
BABY- "Cause Im fuckin cold".....

:lol: :lol: :lol:

That one is awesome!
Love the muppets!

Hey how bout this one?
http://www.youtube.com/embed/o3gIf16d0Tc

:arrow: Hey there,

I just had a laugh over this with my bff.

Happy Sunday!

Another topless Jennifer Lawrence pic...

And missing her top half and bottom half lol!

Pity we don't get to see her cans! :twisted:

Thumper wrote:Pity we don't get to see her cans! :twisted:

That was even worse than mine. :lol:

I am drinking her in...

Coffjr wrote:Good one Rock.

I had to show off my lawn mower.

Jr. the least you could have done is get her a self propelled. :roll:

Coffjr wrote:Good one Rock.

I had to show off my lawn mower.

Bows, sometimes on rare occasion I find a good one, ha!

I'm keeping my mouth shut.

How many wish they could??

Couple of good ones Jr..

:cry: I can't sleep!

Anyone like to run? I need sponsors. lol.

Good morning Manda. :lol: I only run when someone taller and heavier is chasing me.

I'll catch you then! :lol:

Could I at least fain an effort? Wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression and think I'm easy.

He he, You'd never be easy! Just fun!

This is actually a true story... and it goes back some 33 years to shortly before my daughter was born. I was looking at the bottle brush and nipple brush my then wife had gotten. I remember looking at the nipple brush thinking, "Now why in the world would any woman use that on herself? Wouldn't that hurt?" not knowing then what it was actually used for.

I like to think I'm a little more knowledgeable now... but that may not be the case. :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll sponsor you Manda for the instant gratification run. You will be #6, and I'll be #9...of course. That is 1 run that I can run to the end.

:lol: This is my weapon......

I don't remember if this has been posted before but anyway - JR and John sitting on a bench......I'm the better looking one. :lol:

So I guess that makes me the other one. Now... which one would that be? :? :? :?

“Husband's occupation?”

"He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting" the newsman thought. He then asked her if she
wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time a
smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker
when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, a preacher when in her 60's,
and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained:

"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!"

OK you Bond Lovers, here's one. :lol: :lol:

rockclimber wrote::lol: This is my weapon......

Love it Rock.

Choose your words wisely guys.


He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him.
I'll ask him again when he wakes up.

Grumpy,

I need one of those! :lol: :lol:

Hopefully not for one of us!

No lol, I have a shot gun for that if I need it, ha ha ha!

jk :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Like this?

Oh my god, Fast, that is so cute! I want one now!

Now I want to go paint balling, who's in?

Retro you have to bring something in a mason jar! Fast has a big gun, he's on my team too!

Anyone else up?

I will play paintball. I really enjoy playing. I will cover Manda if she gets into trouble. By cover, I really mean cover her body with mine to shield her. Even if you are not in trouble...

Little late Manda but I'm in. Do I have to bring a shotgun? I've got a big one, pump action.

Manda, would you prefer some of my Tennessee stash or my local SC apple pie?

Extreme couponing at it's best??

Honora - I printed out 20 copies....it didn't say one per. Now where do I turn it in?? :lol:

Jr, as the instructions state, give it to me!!

Sex is always on my mind

I'll be right over and hand one over to you. Just love a woman with sex on her mind. Sleeping well lately?

I'd sleep better if I had someone to wear me out before bed

Oh I need one of those too! LOL

Jr, print me off a few too please?

Honora - I'm UP for the challenge.

Manda dear - I'd be more than happy to print you off a few. Now wOOd those coupons be for me to give to you for redemption (that is the right word, isn't it)? :?

ANDY ROONEY ON SEX!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

6. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

7. Virginity can be cured.

8. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

9. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

10. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

11. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!

honora wrote:I'd sleep better if I had someone to wear me out before bed

I thought you had a boyfriend. Shouldn't he be doing this, I mean, doing you? Or are you one of those rare women who needs sooooo much to be worn out that no single man can finish the job himself?

Here are a couple more:

12. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

13. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

14. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

15. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

Jr, If you can shoot, Ill pump you up! ha ha!

Thinker, 7, 8, 9, 10 and a double helping of 15 please?